When you're embarking on a new life, you probably realize that
support will be critical to your success. And you probably seek
answers as you ask yourself, "What next?"
Wet blankets will smother your dreams. "You'll hate it," they'll
say. Or, "I turned down that job two years ago, but it's perfect
for you." The soggiest blankets add, "Nobody makes a living that
way."
Wet blankets often reflect your own inner fears. When you feel
strong and confident, you can laugh them off -- and in fact,
there's nothing like laughter to dry up a wet blanket and send it
sailing away.
Cheerleaders seem to be sending an opposite message, but they
undermine you just as effectively.
You say, "I think I'm going to start a business."
"Wonderful!" the cheerleader says, bouncing up and down.
"On second thought, I really would rather work for someone else.
The benefits are important."
"Terrific!" yells the cheerleader, perhaps adding, "You're going
to be great."
"Or maybe I'll rob a bank."
"Go for it!"
Don't confuse a devil's advocate with a wet blanket. As you
probably know, the term "Devil's advocate" comes from the process
to canonize a saint in the Roman Catholic Church. The "devil's
advocate" was assigned to ferret out weaknesses in the case for
sainthood.
Today a devil's advocate looks for flaws in your plan and
deliberate argues the opposite case, to sharpen your own analysis
of the situation.
"Your own business sounds great, but have you considered..."
"You want to return to corporate life, but you hated your last
three jobs. Why will this one be different?"
Ideally, a coach makes a good devil's advocate. I can't imagine
why you would pay for a wet blanket -- but it is easy to be
fooled by a cheerleader who promises to "build your confidence."
People gain confidence through action, by seeing that success
arises from their own efforts. Listening to someone who says,
"That's great!" over and over again will lead you down the garden
path and ultimately cost you time and money.
During a transition, you also need to listen between the lines. A
wet blanket may be offering wise words that can be translated
through a devil's advocate. The cheerleader's pompoms may reflect
heartfelt caring and support. When you hire a coach, you should
find someone who listens to you, interprets your own voices and,
on occasion, plays a rousing game of devil's advocate.
_____
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., the "Career Freedom Coach," is an Author, Career Consultant, and Speaker.
Discover your Fast Track to Career Freedom by visiting MovingLady.com.
To contact Cathy, email: Cathy@MovingLady.com or call 505-534-4294.
