Recently someone asked me, "What coaching tools do you use?"
"Tools?" I asked, bewildered. "I avoid tests and
assessments."
"No," she explained. "Listening skills?"
Well, I suppose I listen -- but I mostly listen to my own
intuition.
Since I derive most of my life lessons from reading murder
mysteries, I am reminded of a recent book by Marcia Muller:
Listen to the Silence. The heroine, Sharon McCone, turns
her prodigious investigative talent to researching her own
background. As she interviews family members, her
significant other, also a heavy-duty detective, says,
"Listen to the silence."
He meant, "When someone answers a question, don't just
listen to what's said. Listen for the pauses, the silences
in what they say."
As I listen to clients, I've decided that we need to listen
to the messages sent by our bodies, our friends and family,
and what some would call "the universe" -- our environment.
As business people, we need to listen to our customers. We
need to listen with great skepticism to advice.
While this idea may seem a little woo-wooish, here's an
example. A self-proclaimed marketing guru visited my site
recently.
"You need help, desperately," she said. "What's that picture
on top of each page? Get rid of it!"
I didn't listen. I chose to listen to customers who write
almost every day, saying, "I love your site," and, "Great
picture of a highway."
One day I applied for an affiliate program with a noted web
designer -- someone who's often chosen to serve as a judge
for web awards and contests.
"Interesting site," she said.
"Gee," I said, "everybody loves my site except designers and
marketers."
"Ignore them," she said. "Your site's just fine. I should
know."
This validation (vindication?) is rare, but reminded me that
the best coaches encourage us to listen to our own world --
not their words. If you're researching a new career, and
you get only negative messages, you need to pay attention.
Considering a move to a new location and find yourself
feeling like, "I don't belong here?" Going to a big job
interview and feeling that everything you say is coming out
all wrong? Well, there's a reason.
There are only a few times to heed well-meaning advice.
When Tony Soprano says, "This game isn't for you," pay
attention. When the police officer says, "Slow it down,"
that's a good idea too. But most of the time, listen for
subtle messages from whatever crosses your path. Learn to
translate your own intuitive code. And don't let any words
get in the way of the real message.
_____
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., the "Career Freedom Coach," is an Author, Career Consultant, and Speaker.
Discover your Fast Track to Career Freedom by visiting MovingLady.com.
To contact Cathy, email: Cathy@MovingLady.com or call 505-534-4294.
