Neville, a teaching assistant at a large research university, wanted to revise his career goals. After working with me for two weeks, he reported, "I'm buried under a stack of grading. The students do not know how to write!"
A few questions revealed that Neville was providing detailed writing instruction to forty students. I suggested he refer them to the campus writing center.
"If the university wants to turn out students who an write well," I said, "they will provide resources. If the university does not care, you are not going to make a difference, especially as a graduate student. And you won't help anybody if your own work suffers."
I introduced Neville to one of my favorite exercises. On a 5x8 card, write,
"That's not my problem." Tape this card to your phone. Practice saying these four magic words, loudly and often.
You may feel overcome with guilt, especially if you work in a nonprofit organization. However, keep in mind:
First, as Neville realized, you can't help anyone if you neglect yourself. When you fly, you're warned to put on your own oxygen mask and then help your children. Why? If you pass out from oxygen deprivation, you will not be able to help them.
Second, organizations (and people) rarely change unless they experience consequences of their behavior.
In her wonderful book, Seasons of a Witch, Gail Griffin writes about an administrator who asked her to take over a project. A colleague had been asked to head up this project and in fact was given extra time and money to do so.
Everyone knew the colleague would botch this project, the administrator said. It was up to Gail to save the day. Instead of working on her own career-enhancing, soul-satisfying projects, perhaps Gail could make sure everything was done right. They couldn't offer her money or compensatory time, of course, but surely she could see the need.
Gail wisely saw through this ploy. The administrator did not want to hold the project-botching colleague accountable, but he did want a good project outcome. He could gain this double-barreled win if Gail would just make the sacrifice. Gail wisely said no. When projects get bad enough, you can be sure someone will decide to appoint competent people or offer substantial payment to the rescuers.
Finally, recognize that unreasonable requests may originate with you -- not your company or your boss. Managers may toe the party line when they urge "business as usual," but often they recognize you need to shift priorities during a crisis.
"Jennifer" learned she would be laid off in six months. She didn't have time to job hunt because she had to solve all the problems on her job. She even worked extra hours.
"What does your boss say?" I asked her.
"Oh, he told me he's looking around and he suggested that I do the same."
Bottom line: Obviously, you do not want to risk your job, and sometimes the good corporate citizen gets rewarded. In the long run, however, focusing on your own career allows you to make a stronger contribution to your company, customers and life purpose. Sacrificing your career leads to emptiness and, all too often, no way to help those who need it most.
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Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., the "Career Freedom Coach," is an Author, Career Consultant, and Speaker.
Discover your Fast Track to Career Freedom by visiting MovingLady.com.
To contact Cathy, email: Cathy@MovingLady.com or call 505-534-4294.