As more than one client has told me, the after-holidays doldrums can really throw us for a loop. All the good resolutions observed during the holidays can fly by the wayside, and complicate your New Year's resolutions as well. Has this happened to you?

"I did just fine until Christmas was over," one client told me. "Then I started doing all the things I'd been holding back on. I can't even get to my New Year's resolutions!!" What on earth is going on? You did very well during the holidays, holding the line on all the things you wanted to NOT do. You avoided drinking or eating too much, or eating junk you shouldn't have. You observed a good exercise regime, keeping to your schedule. You stayed within your budget on the holiday spending.

And now what? It's almost like you feel you need to make it up to yourself for all the things you missed -- grabbing that pecan pie in the cafeteria, baking a King's Cake and eating half of it yourself, busting your budget buying the things Santa didn't bring you, and "giving yourself a break" by not observing your regular workout schedule. It doesn't help that the after-holidays sales are planned to excite and incite us, and the Valentine displays are mounted the day after Christmas.

What's this all about?

EQ-wise, it looks like you're trying to tip the balance back. You tried too hard - mentally - during the holidays, and now you feel like you need to loosen up. Or maybe you think you need a "reward" for all the good behavior during the holidays?

It can also be the result of the holiday blues getting the better of you. Everything pumps up during the holidays, including a bunch of more-intense-than-usual emotions. We see more people than usual, encounter old family issues, deal with need and greed, battle with societal expectations and competition, try and ride herd on children who are in a whirlwind, and, in many businesses, also experience a greater-than-usual workload.

While this isn't necessarily good for us, the frenetic pace can become addictive, and we miss it when it's gone. We enjoyed the party and want it to go on forever. In other words, something seems "missing" and we try and make up for it.

However it stacks up, this is a hard time of year for many. What can we do?

If you're threatening to spin out-of-control, first of all, take a deep breath and relax. If you're compulsively bidding on ebay, you recognize the 'frantic' element there that's not good for you. You can probably feel it in your stomach -- or maybe your head! These are messages telling you to stop what you're doing and try something different. Recognize that the emotions you're feeling are normal, considering the circumstances. We've gotten revved up. Now it's time for a cool-down period and you'll have to be the one to give it to yourself.

Slow down the pace and give yourself a chance to recoup. When you put away the holiday (decorations, etc.), put away the emotions that go with it. Nothing like that can continue forever, and it needs a beginning and an ending.

Sit down, gather your thoughts, and make a list of your ordinary routine. It may seem dull now, but it's a lifesaver in the long run. Toss out the remnants of holiday cheer lying around the house -- the half-finished box of chocolates, the bottle of Tia Maria, the things lurking in the pantry that will tempt you, and the abandoned exercise schedule. Go to the grocery and buy healthy foods that are good for you, and plan (in your head or on paper) some healthy menus for the next week.

Then do this is the exercise area. What has happened to your usual workout? As part of your New Year's resolutions, you can get back to your usual wellness routine and then go one better, by eliminating something negative, or adding more of something positive.

For most of us, it's a slippery slope, and it takes some self-discipline to stop the slide downward and head back up again. Those 5 pounds you put on can quickly become permanent, or even 10 pounds, if you don't pay attention. Understanding the emotions behind it can help. So can coaching! Call a coach if you need a boost!

And about those New Year's resolutions. Many people have abandoned them by the end of January. If this has happened to you, don't despair. A lapse is just a lapse -- if you continue forward. Good luck!

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Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc. Coaching, Internet courses, ebooks and teleclasses for your personal and professional development, centered around emotional intelligence. Email Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information or FREE ezine. Put "ezine" for subject line.