You leave your old, secure job for a fresh opportunity at a hot new company, but one month later that hot company is out of gas, and you're out of a job.
An optimist would say, "Well, it's unfortunate, but it's just temporary. I have other possibilities. I did all I could." This person bounces back from disappointment and stays motivated.
Pessimists, however, look at the same setback and say, "This is terrible. I'll never get over it. It just ruins everything. I don't have what it takes for this business." This attitude withers motivation and leads to despair and self-blame.
Which style is yours? If you take the pessimistic approach, you may be making harmful self-fulfilling prophecies, predicting failure, and robbing yourself of energy and drive.
If you're plagued by pessimism, give your attitude an overhaul. It just takes awareness and effort. Start by looking at what are called the three P's of pessimism - permanent, pervasive and personal.
If you think the situation is permanent, you believe it's unchangeable and the consequences will last forever. If you allow the problem to be pervasive, it will negatively affect every area of your life. If you take the situation personally, you feel it's a reflection of your flaws or failure.
Learn to challenge these three P's.
Permanent: Always look to see what can be changed or salvaged - the old making lemonade from lemons approach.
Pervasive: Focus on the specific situation and don't generalize. Don't let one small, isolated problem become like a wildfire roaring through your life affecting everything.
Personal: Don't personalize events with self-blame. Accept legitimate responsibility and learn from mistakes but don't beat yourself up for every setback.
The key to changing your pessimistic outlook is learning that you can change it. Accepting this truth is the first step to personal growth. Next, focus on your strengths, and then acknowledge your positive efforts. You will soon start living better and happier
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Dan Johnston, PhD. is a clinical psychologist and author of Lessons for Living: Simple Solutions for Life's Problems, a self-help book of common sense ways to make life go better. He is also the creator of theAwakenings Web Site, which offers tools for psychological and spiritual growth.
E-mail Dat at, Dan@Lessons4Living.com
©2002 Dan Johnston, PhD. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
3 Ways to Get Positive
