Why should we think upon things that are lovely? Because thinking determines life. It is a common habit to blame life upon the environment. Environment modifies life but does not govern life.
~ William James
In life a lot of things can matter to us. What matters to you? For example, the type of car you drive or the name brand of the clothes you wear. How much you weigh? Your age? What others think of you?
Have you said to someone, "It doesn't matter"? --What did you mean?
Has anyone ever asked you, "Does it matter?" --What did they want to know? What are we talking about? What is it that matters? What does matter mean?
Something matters when it concerns us. Something matters when it is important. It matters when we take it seriously. If we don't take it seriously, it doesn't matter. What do you take seriously? What matters to you? What matters to you depends upon what you mind.
Have you ever been asked, "Do you mind?" It might be, "Do you mind if I smoke?" It means, 'do you care?' It means 'does it matter?' Mind and matter are connected.
If you mind, then it matters.
As a child you may have heard the refrain, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." This is true. Words alone cannot hurt you. Words only hurt if they matter. Words only hurt if you mind. It is your response to the words that determines how you react.
Suppose that someone insults you by calling you "stupid." Does it matter? Well, it does if you mind. --If you mind, you could start thinking, "Who do they think they are? Nobody can treat me this way. They won't get away with it. I'll show them." Now you are caught in a mood of anger because it matters. Or, you could think, "I guess they are right. I just can't do anything. Why do I bother to try?" Again, it matters because you mind, and you allow yourself to slip into a state of sadness and self-criticism.
A third possibility is that you don't mind because you don't take it seriously. You might think, "Well, that's their opinion, but I know it is not true. It's rude, but maybe they're having a bad day." You pay it no mind. It doesn't matter. You don't get angry or sad. You don't dwell on it all day or create misery for yourself.
Here is the secret of mind over matter:
