Do Problems Get You Down Or Rev You Up?
     by Harvey L. Gardner

Do problems get you down, or do they rev you up? Do you hate to see a problem arise, or do you see it as chance to prove your ability to rise to the occasion?

Some people see situations as crises; others see them as opportunities disguised as insolvable problems. Whether people view problems as obstacles or as stepping stones is really a matter of personal choice.

Some people choose to complain and whine and avoid as many problems as possible. Others, while not necessarily searching for problems, don’t run from them, but accept them as a normal part of their life, and set out to solve them the best they can with whatever resources they can marshal.

A woman in California woke up one morning several years ago and discovered that her husband had disappeared with all her money. Having never worked a day in her life, in her late 70’s she was forced to find work, after losing her home and everything her first husband had worked his entire life to accumulate.

It would have been easy for her to go on welfare and live out her life without dignity or self-respect. Who would blame her? But instead, she decided to do something about it.

Not satisfied with what the police were doing, she launched her own investigation, tracked down her husband and brought him to trial, not only for stealing her money, but for murdering her aunt and stealing her money too. He now lives in prison.

This spunky woman has a brand new career. She helps people with similar circumstances to hers conduct their own investigations and right some of the wrongs done to them.

A man in Washington, D.C., was fired from his successful job as a nightclub singer and was replaced by a Kareoke machine. Without any notice, he was left with no way to pay his bills.

He launched a brand new career as a writer and a motivational speaker. In 1999, Willie Jolley was selected as Speaker of the Year by Toastmasters International. His most recent book title says it all: A SETBACK IS A SETUP FOR A COMEBACK.

Whenever anybody tells him they just lost their job, Willie Jolley says, 'That’s good. Now you have the opportunity to do what you really like to do.'

Author Shad Helmstetter says, "It is unfortunate that most of us have learned to believe that the word ‘problem’ represents only the bramble bush and none of the roses."

Whether we focus on the problem or focus on the solutions, the experts tell us, is a matter of choice.

Over the years, it has been my privilege to hire and train many salespeople. What drove these people into commission sales was the opportunity to be all they could be.

I always told them that along with tremendous opportunity there was the possibility of failure. But invariably, the successful ones understood and embraced the idea that success is only meaningful if failure is a real possibility. If they failed, they reasoned, it would be their failure, not somebody else’s.

At age 54, I found myself broke after a financial crash-and-burn. All I had worked my entire working life to accomplish suddenly disappeared. I lost everything. House, investments, cars, friends, social standing, and a lot of self-confidence. It was a real body blow, from which I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover.

The enemy I had to fight daily was the urge to sit down and feel sorry for myself. I didn’t have the physical stamina and enthusiasm I had in my 20’s. I had no credit, no job, no prospects.

Then one day I gave myself the same speech I used to give those sales recruits. I said to my wife one morning: 'You know, I just lost my money. I didn’t lose my mind. I didn’t lose my education. I didn’t lose my health. And, I didn’t lose my drive and desire.'

Because I needed money to pay the bills, I worked at jobs that were beneath my skill level. To help out, my wife worked as many as five part time jobs as once. When she married me 37 years ago and promised to take me for better or for worse, she meant every word she said.

Was it easy? No way! Was I happy with the lifestyle I was forced by circumstances to live? No. Did I see myself as defeated? No. Did I pursue something I loved? You bet.

I lived mostly by my wits the first few years, because we had a tough time just earning enough to pay the rent and buy food. But I pursued the two things I knew and loved: sales and writing.

I sold newspaper subscriptions on the phone. I sold cars, both new and used. I sold replacement windows and sunrooms. I sold satellite dishes. I became a business broker and sold businesses.

It was during my time as a business broker that I found and bought a business with no money down. About that same time I discovered the Internet.

I thought, "If I had something to sell on the internet, I could probably make some pretty good money."

I decided to write a book. Nobody wanted to publish it, so I decided to publish and print it myself, in the back room of the business I bought with no money down.

The book, How To Evaluate Business Opportunities, sold a few copies, but not very many. Then I decided to write a second book. I called it, appropriately, How To Buy A Business With Little Or No Cash Down! To my considerable delight, it has continued to sell well.

In addition to my books, I also write a self-syndicated column, 'Tantalizing Trivialities' It’s a human interest/humor column. I find humor the best medicine for anything that ails me, especially discouragement. Discouragement leads to self-pity, and self-pity is fatal.

Things are moving in the right direction for me again. It was because I decided that I wasn’t going to accept failure or defeat.

Failure is never final. . . . unless you give up.

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Harvey L. Gardner is an author, columnist, and speaker. He writes a popular human interest/humor column, 'Tantalizing Trivialities,' a mixture of fun, frivolity, nostalgia, inspiration, humor, love, marriage, tall tales, work, and other absurdities. He publishes an online newsletter, "The Gardner Letter," on self-development topics.

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©2002 Harvey L. Gardner All Rights Reserved